"Orbiting" - the new modern dating pitfall - lessons learned

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2021.11.30 19:01 ksmith852 "Orbiting" - the new modern dating pitfall - lessons learned

May of '20 I began dating my new girlfriend. For me it had all the normal good feelings: it was great to find such an interesting person and felt like we connected so well. We biked, went hiking in the mountains, and had other fun weekends.
I don't need to go in to everything I thought was good and amazing... one of the mistakes I made in the relationship was not addressing red flags or flaws... like how she talked about not committing in previous relationships, not addressing how I would get to know her kids, or really talking about our future. I was so into her positive qualities that I overlooked these things. For instance, she was an ultra-runner. I could tell myself things like I'll never find someone as driven as her, or that could run as far as her, or as intelligent. But at the same time I was overlooking our problems perhaps.
Anyways at the end of the summer she suddenly did a slow fade (best way I can describe it). Instead of ending things she went cold on me, still responding but with less excitement or taking longer time to respond and gave a few excuses to meet up. I knew something was up so finally had to confront her at which point she told me I didn't know what it meant to raise 3 kids (in theory I did but in reality I had no clue what it took, this was her assessment). I tried to stay level headed and told her I have never raised kids but she wasn't even giving me a chance. I honestly didn't see it coming. It was the strangest end of a relationship I've experienced. In the past I could usually know from the arguments or growing problems over time and the breakup made more sense. In retrospect I suppose her reason kind of makes sense, but for all I know it was an excuse to not hurt my feelings. But just like that, poof, she was gone.
In real life that is... of course we remained Facebook and Strava friends. It's now September '20 and I felt hurt but also felt I recovered after a few weeks or months. My friends encouraged me to "let go" and not need to understand why it ended just know that we weren't right for each other, etc, etc. However there was also something I've never experienced before. I've heard of ghosting in modern dating, but for the first time I get to learn about "orbiting". Yeah, so the dumper "orbits" the dumpee. Staying in the orbit but not on the planet (one foot in one foot out) Basically, she "likes" almost all my FB posts, kudos on Strava for every workout. It felt good, shots of dopamine to the brain... maybe she's still interested, maybe she had mixed feelings. In retrospect allowing her to do this was also a mistake. It gave me false hope. It made me think she really liked me... maybe she was just curious, or just actually liked the posts and still wasn't that into me? Who knows? Maybe she was keeping me open as an option or a backup? Maybe she really liked me and honestly just had doubts about my ability to bond with her daughters? Maybe? If only?
What could I have done differently? Ugh. The questions and never ending ruminating in my mind went on for months. That's a long time but I suppose it never seemed serious because it was just social media. All this was preventing me from moving on without even realizing it. At one point she was texting and liking so much it seemed she was really into me. I messaged her asking for a meetup. Maybe I would have more insight into the relationship, how it ended, or what she really wanted. Friendship? Of course she agreed but gave me some excuses about how busy she was (and at same time online I can see her going out of her way for other activities that take way more time than a simple coffee). I suppose this behavior goes inline with everything else she has done. Keeping the relationship in the orbit, not in real life.
A while back I think I've seen hints of a boyfriend on social media which does not feel good. The fact that I'm even looking for this is embarrassing. Basically I decided to remove her from Strava and FB. Maybe this was an emotionally charged decision but I didn't care. I decided to block her so I wouldn't even be tempted to look. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. Another thing I didn't expect is how much this would sting. I feel a lot of pain right now... like I lost a friend in addition to the girlfriend. Hopefully this is like ripping off a band aid and I can finally heal. This hurts more than the initial breakup. I don't know why. Has anyone else ever experienced this?
Sick of asking why, sick of questions, sick of wondering what could have been, sick of wondering why she wants to be my friend, like my posts, text, direct message but not be friends or meetup in real life. Even writing/reading this makes me almost see it so much clearer now. But I still have all the emotions. Please tell me I did the right thing. That is all.
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2021.11.30 19:01 SoupEarthSociety Can I have r/TheLetterX? The owner hasn’t posted for 20 days and the sub is restricted.

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2021.11.30 19:01 incesaz TSNE - Back to the original feature space

Hello,
Assume that I have a dataset whose number of features is 256. I apply TSNE on this dataset for 2 components. Then, I have 2 dimensions right now. After I perform some operations on that 2-dimensional space, I come up with a data point. What I want to do is to expand this point to the original feature size, which is 256.
I meant the below flow:
256 -> TSNE -> 2 -> (SOME MAGIC) -> 256
I am looking for that magic actually. Is there any way to do so?
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2021.11.30 19:01 social_needia Doggo's multiverse madness

Doggo's multiverse madness submitted by social_needia to teenagers [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 Loangallery 울버 번리 중계 | 찬 경기 일정 12월 2일 리미어리그 생중계 EPL 이라이 2021에 대 알아보겠습니다. 리미어리그는 잉글랜드의 로축구 1부 리그로 스인 리메라리가(Primera Liga), 이리아 세리에 A(Serie A), 독일 분데스리가(Bundesliga)와 께 유럽 축구 4대 리그로 불리고 있습니다. 시점에서 명실상부 세계 최고의 인기 축구 리그인 리미어리그, 칭 EPL은 세계에서 가장 많은 시청자를 보유 축구리그이자 세계에서 가장 많은 돈을 벌어들이고 있는 리그입니다.

울버 번리 중계 | 찬 경기 일정 12월 2일 리미어리그 생중계 EPL 이라이 2021에 대 알아보겠습니다. 리미어리그는 잉글랜드의 로축구 1부 리그로 스인 리메라리가(Primera Liga), 이리아 세리에 A(Serie A), 독일 분데스리가(Bundesliga)와 께 유럽 축구 4대 리그로 불리고 있습니다. 시점에서 명실상부 세계 최고의 인기 축구 리그인 리미어리그, 칭 EPL은 세계에서 가장 많은 시청자를 보유 축구리그이자 세계에서 가장 많은 돈을 벌어들이고 있는 리그입니다. submitted by Loangallery to korea_covid_19 [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 TheblackRook3 What are methods to fake having an great art skill and sell your pictures?

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2021.11.30 19:01 idklol129 Alex rubbing sizes in our face

Ok I'll preface by saying this is really NBD !! BUT this is something that has bugged me for a while and I debated posting about it. However, I'm so curious if anyone else feels the same.
Every time she drops merch she HAS to go off about how big the size smalls on her. Like a few days go she posted about 100 stories of her in diff colors of the same merch pieces all adding the text "small" on each one LIKE WE GET IT YOU'RE A SIZE SMALL and then I saw her story just now of putting Lauren who's about the same size as her in size large.
They're sweats--the sizing is not that complicated !!!!!!!!!
Ik sizes don't matter and she's obvs toxic and I obvs just follow to hate and IK sofia also posts her sizes but idk I feel like she's more lowkey about it.
ALSO Alex will be like "if you want a more oversize fit go medium or large" like girl not everyone's the same size as you :/ AND THAT IS OK! GREAT, ACTUALLY!! BUT don't assume otherwise idk
Anyone with me here?
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2021.11.30 19:01 donotholdyourbreath 'Modesty' culture, especially those born out of religion, is unscientific and terrible

Modesty culture born out of Islam is terrible and nonsensical. Modesty culture born out of Christianity is also baseless. The claim that (muslim) men are uncontrollably horny that will rape at the sight of a woman's flesh is pretty stupid. In fact, studies show other wise. Covering women up does not stop rape. (Christian) God does not care whether you are 'modest' or not, or if he did, he's an idiot. He sees and knows all. I don't really care if god sees me naked or not.
Almost nothing about 'modesty' is about the well being of people. And if you say you don't care about well being, then I suppose it'd be alright if the village drives you out and say 'well I don't care about your well being'.
Besides reasons like hygiene etc, there is no reason to say that 'god is perfect' in telling women to cover up. Oh and, erogenous zones my ass. Who gives a damn. Mens neck and elbows are erogenous, but no one is telling them to cover up over there.
I hate how people use 'pseudo' science to back themselves up. 'But women are the prettier sex!' 'Men are visual creatures'. Does being a visual creature stop you from having any form of self control?
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2021.11.30 19:01 jchristsproctologist strong princess mononoke vibes

strong princess mononoke vibes submitted by jchristsproctologist to ghibli [link] [comments]


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2021.11.30 19:01 roczio666 Soy machista 😈

Soy machista 😈 submitted by roczio666 to DylanteroYT [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 cokkieepie Looking for online sugar daddy ☺️

Looking for online sugar daddy ☺️ submitted by cokkieepie to SugarDaddyMeet_Sites [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 Limp-Government2965 $MDC | Monster Doge | King of Doge rewards 7% Reflections, Just Launched, Coin Gecko, CMC coming soon 💎x1000 GEM

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2021.11.30 19:01 Longjumping_Theme_45 uh oh

uh oh submitted by Longjumping_Theme_45 to angrybirds [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 johnrock001 Fullmetal Alchemist Filler - Complete Filler Guide

Fullmetal Alchemist Filler - Complete Filler Guide - https://www.myanimeforlife.com/fullmetal-alchemist-fille
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2021.11.30 19:01 sonsofnothing KIRK IS BACK

For now. Best news. Glad to hear he's feeling better and didn't wanna wait until Jan to bring the show back
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2021.11.30 19:01 No_Mammoth_9046 Join🥵

Join🥵 submitted by No_Mammoth_9046 to THICKLATINASONLY [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 Tom_Foolery2 Oculus Quest 2 help

I just got an Oculus Quest 2 and I’ll say, I’m a little disappointed by the quality. From everything I’ve seen, most people are pretty happy with the quality. Am I being too harsh or is there some major adjustment that will help?
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2021.11.30 19:01 HeWhoCntrolsTheSpice Holidays in Fallout 4

I've probably played hundreds of hours of Fallout 4, and I just witnessed my first holiday in Diamond City - Halloween. I was so startled by the decorations and signs that I wondered if I had downloaded some mod by accident, then I checked the date and saw it was October 31st.
Now I've got to come back on every holiday date and see if Diamond City is decorated! What other holidays, or celebrations are depicted in the Fallout games?
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2021.11.30 19:01 lionrace I couldn't decide which angle was better. This is Goose's first known faceplant!

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2021.11.30 19:01 WujekMarian [DC] Goldie, the Abandoned

[DC] Goldie, the Abandoned submitted by WujekMarian to collectivecg [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 RealArya Been trying to lose some weight to improve my self-esteem. It's been tough and slow this far, but I'm a tad bit happy with my progress xx

Been trying to lose some weight to improve my self-esteem. It's been tough and slow this far, but I'm a tad bit happy with my progress xx submitted by RealArya to FreeCompliments [link] [comments]


2021.11.30 19:01 spacepirate07 Ecofriendly Christmas Present Ideas

My brother is trying to live a more ecofriendly life. I try to do what I can but I'm no expert. I was hoping to get him a Christmas gift that is environmentally friendly, sustainable etc so it's more personal. But I'm on a bit of a budget. Has anyone got any suggestions? I thought of beeswax wraps but I don't know if they're a bit boring as a gift.
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2021.11.30 19:01 AspectOpen3122 I’ve noticed bleeding and pain when I brush my front teeth 🦷 there’s little marks above them that look like cuts.

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2021.11.30 19:01 sugaapop I’m very much new to edd. Just yesterday it said my claim status was under review after my phone interview and now it says this.. Does this mean i got accepted?

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